How come no one ever told me!

No one has ever told me how funny I look when I am alone. My facial expression is not centered or even remotely fair. Now I know why people look at me funny sometimes! I guess it would be awkward for someone to come up to me and tell me that my face looks funny when I am not talking to someone.

I have also noticed that when I smile, the left side of my face tends to go up first. This only happens when I smile slowly and not when I laugh (at least I hope so).

Either way, I am not sure exactly how many people have noticed but I hope that they do forget it.

My parents came home this weekend and I basically spent my Saturday feeling like shit (this always happens on the first day), driving my mom around, and investing. Yes I actually invested. After three grueling hours of what seemed like information from a very well designed pamphelet, Sarah and I made a decision that neither of us really understood. But I hope it works out. I then spent a good couple of hours at home by myself. It's rare that this occurs and when it does, it's really odd. Much too odd for me to handle so I blasted some Metric and Jet and danced around while I was trying to mimic bakers. Bakers who know how to make brownies that don't turn out flat.

Seriously, it happens every single time. I must be that bad.

And I miss you. Not you or you. But you. And I know it doesn't seem like it and I have never mentioned it but I do. I miss you so much. I have thought about it over and over again and honeslty, it was enough for me. It was enough. Sufficient and suffice.

I just wish it was sufficient and suffice now but clearly it isn't.

And clearly shoving material goods at me and rushing to the finish line isn't enough.

I am not sure what it is but I was really hoping to not fall into the stereotype where roles switch and we are caught in a position where no one lets go or improves.

Thing is I can't let go because it is something I need. I don't just need the finish line. I need everything. Everything and anything in between.

Otherwise I end up feeling nothing. Maybe if I was robot it wouldn't matter so much. And yes it's true. This is not based on that. It really isn't but just talking to you isn't enough. Talking doesn't give me what I need to feel like I really am part of your life. Not in this kind of a setting anyway.

Also, it's not normal.

And I told you what was wrong. And thanks for hitting me in the eye. It's just what I need to even out my initially crooked smile.

And to end the blissful weekend

10 items down on the to-do list and about 5 to go. In retrospect though, I think everything was very well done.

Except for when my garage door wouldn't close due to excess snow on the bottom of it.

It doesn't sound harmful but it is! See the snow makes contact with the lasers, which are a safety feature so the garage door doesn't come slamming down on anything, and it causes the garage door to go back up once again. And this leaves me sweeping the entire premise for the culprit.

Though it was easier this time because I knew that it was snow. Not the leaves or something animate. But a form of water that falls only during one season.

Alas, I did not think outside the box and kept looking and cursing at something that clearly had nothing do to with keeping me outside even longer than I had planned for. I apologize and I mean it.

Once the snow was swept and kept out of the lasers way, I made my way inside and proceeded to complain about my hunger that seemed to last for what felt like a mini-eon (I believe those are called.....years?) and gathered up those dust bunnies and escorted them out of my life.

Be gone dust bunnies!

And to the snow that I violently swept away, I am sorry.

P.S: I can't wait to go to Indigo next week!

If only houses came with wheels!

I think city and color is pretty much a go. Jason Collett was a success (which reminds me I still have to pick up the Cd) and its always so much fun to go to shows. Shows that help reinforce the artist's creative nature so that they will keep producing novel items.

If not novel, then no reinforcement.

Contingency rules all but don't worry, contiguity plays a big part here too. If the reinforcement was immediate at shows, the whole experience would be dull and rather unentertaining.

So let's celebrate the people who have cracked a large part of human nature and has allowed these secrets to be shared and fiddled around with. That candy wrapper trick really does increase self-control...so partial satiation but I look at the candy wrappers and I think "Fuck, stop it already."

Yes. You should stop it. If the world of public schooling wasn't so nice to you, you wouldn't be such a bitch. I put part of the blame on one of your superiors too but we all have a choice here. That is what makes the human race one cut about the rest; we can choose. Not just to choose between where would be a good place to sleep tonight (although for some people this can be a daily occurance, and no I'm not talking about the homeless...duh), but to choose whether or not it would be a good idea to mentally and socially push people below you because you think it's right.

Of course, I am here to tell you it's not. Well it is more like I am here to not talk to you. And no I shouldn't be a bigger person and put it behind me because I have done that so many times before. Now look at it. You like to take advantage of it, so you do, and now here we are.

Congratulations. I think you should go out and celebrate, with his money (lets face...you do), all of these years of creating a shitty persona, a fake persona, and a very well deserved relationship with your superior.

Just remember, no one forced you to attain this shitty persona.

And no, I'm not putting it behind me this time.

Sideways

I like it when Monday comes because that means I get to watch Heroes! I get sucked into the plot of shows easily when they're dramatic and/or sarcastic in much of lame manner. I do miss Scrubs and I keep looking out for it but it hasn't reered it's beautiful head yet.

I am also excited for Fast Track to come out! Hopefully Lisa and I will be able to go watch it since we are both such avid Zach Braff fans.

By the way, thanks for knocking me sideways yesterday. Not literally of course since that would be rude and really embarassing. But thanks for giving me all of that yesterday because it honestly really made my day. I know nothing more will be coming my way but it was a nice gesture nonetheless. Nice gestures are grand in and of themselves. And it is true. I would have taken yours over lunch simply because it made me smile a lot more.

Here's hoping for more to come!

In the next few weeks, I have events to attend and books to burn holes into. Also, dinners to cook and dishes to do but thanks to little Jason, the dishes go by much faster now. Who knew such little hands can speed up chores so easily?

Back to psychology.

P.S. Conor Oberst came out with a new album filled with unreleased songs and other obscure concoctions the other day (October 24 to be exact).

This has been a good week!

If I could only genetically alter eggs...

It's one in the morning and I am still waiting for the eggs to be done so I can make lunch for tomorrow. It wouldn't be such a big deal if it was just for me because then I wouldn't have to wait for the eggs, I would just make a bagel and hope for the best.

Yes. The best that a bagel could give me. That is what I would hope for.

But more than that I hope for Sarah will get better soon because... well lets face it, Sarah is a baby. Even at 18 years old and increasing, she is still a baby. She will cry at a drop of a hat because she is just a baby like that. I do feel sorry for her though because her now both of her eyes are red and everything just hurts.

It is a virus I keep saying. It's getting progressively worse and I am really urging her to go to the doctors but being a science student in the first year really prevents you from doing a lot. Even from going to the doctors because going to the doctors mean waiting for a immensly long time and possibly being patronized by the person who is supposed to heal you.

Okay that was exceptionally biased I will admit.

It's those eggs.

Why won't they cook faster?

And why won't you stop being such a hypocrite? No. I'm not crawling back to you. But my conscience seems to be.

Anyway, my foot has started to hurt again. I really wish it wouldn't. I want to go for runs and feel that euphoria again because it really is like being high. I wonder if the amount of endorphins released has a linear relationship with the amount of time that I spend on the treadmill?

A friend's birthday is coming up soon and I am actually excited to go see her because she really is a lot of fun and agrees with the boyfriend's humor.

A humor that I must commend because it is not only really entertaining but extremely suiting at times.

It is funny because in certain situations, he has a impecible sense of timing but in other circumstances, he really has the co ordination of a stranger with no take on the even at all.

So maybe it is only the funny parts that he is good at and not the other things.

I really wish you would improve on that though. Since I have told you this quite a number of times already, I would only expect it.

I think the eggs are finally ready. My how time flies when I am typing on this horrid laptop.

Done and done...but not really

Jason Collett.

Edmonton Film Festival.

Econ midterm.

Psychology midterms

Pharmacology midterms.

.......And have I decided yet?

No but I wish I would.

Indigo membership? Now that is just a tease.

Britney Spears, I wish you never wore that bag. I almost wish I never knew about it.

But really, I don't.

I wish the headphone jack on my laptop was less imperfect and more accurate.

I wish my laptop would stop lagging while I type. I wish I could be free from the bond of Best Buy. I now condem you.

But not you, you, and you.

I also wish for you and you to improve. I am over it...well...I would have to be I guess.

I must remember to bring kleenex

This weird quesy feeling that has been in my stomach for a good week now won't go away and no matter what I do it seems like it won't go away. I suppose it says something but I am not entirely sure.

I am also not entierly sure of what to do because quite frankly it seems like no one cares (one more than the other). It's okay though I am sure she will keep you company from now on.

Remember if you don't think about it, it will all be less annoying.

Oh and remember to tell them to stop tracking mud into the interior. You won't need to remind me about the mud because not only do I have the courtesy to wipe my feet before entering, I will never set foot on the interior.

That's one thing you won't have to worry about.

Oh and have fun playing with the electronic toy.

It's true. You are blunt and I am sarcastic. But I think it's more fun being sarcastic than blunt.

Oh I cannot stop sneezing.

I think Calvin and Hobbes have it right: the world aint' so bad if you can just get out of it.
Though if I was out of this world, I would have not been able to watch The Last Kiss or watch Scrubs (when it finally premiers on television) OR watch Jason imitate the people on tv.

Jeezes I need to get out of the house.

But I will not because for once it feels so utterly comfortable to be in and I cannot understand why.

So here it goes. Wake up and study before I head off to my 50 minute class or to the longer days where I encounter more people than I have in the last month. Come home and feed the children that much needed love and provide my feet with some warmth so they remember to breath.

I guess I too should remember to breath.

And I should remember to tell you that I don't hate you, I'm just disappointed.

No, it didn't help.

But I shouldn't of expected it anymore.

And thus I won't.

Off I go again.

And off you go.

I think a retraction is very called for

I do realize that I have complained about the anger problem before but really, it's a small thing to look past in the light of brilliance. (And in that situation, who wouldn't of been mad and threw an outrageous fit of temporary insanity?)

Brilliance indeed and this Friday I will be basking in sunlight of his brilliance and way-too-obvious awesome-ness.

And although it will be in 2D form, I will not complain because for two hours I get to sense and perceive one of the people I enjoy watching most in entertainment. I can hardly contain myself!!

This is going to be a short one because I am watching House (oh my Chase is cute) and I still have too much reading to do.

Those textbooks are just too expensive not to read.

P.S: Good job today. Though I am sure anyone else would have congratulated you too. I am too excited for Friday!!

eeeee! Zach Braff!

With a pocket full of change I speed my way down to tea cottage, eager to try the lychee bubble tea.

Except I order it as a juice. Bascially it was the lychee juice which I can get from superstore and all I would be missing are the tapioca balls. What a shame. And seeing a person on the grass with a blanket over their head not only scared me but reminded me of the ghettospongebob picture my co worker sent me yesterday. But this time it was scary because what if he decided to pop up from the grass and steal my waste-of-$3.87-bubble tea?

What if then he ran to the other side of street claming victory over my watered down drink? What if the other bums decided to get in on the action and they jump him for the flimsy cup of lychee juice and it ends up all over the ground just because he wasn't willing to share it with others?

Thus I decided to keep my drink securely in my hand till I reached my car; which then I could put safely it in my cup holder and drive off thinking about where I should go next.

He never did pop up from the grass. Nor did he move just a slight inch.

Kindof freaky... and naseuating.

It looks like I want glasses agian and only because I think it would be fun to have them. I wanted glasses for the longest time.

Yes a long time.

And no. You don't know how long.

Either way I won't be buying them because I'll feel like an idiot who copped out because I have a vain personality.

I blame my mother.

The other night it felt like I needed to curl up in a ball and die all because I am a girl. I don't understand. I have been pretty active these couple of weeks and the last time I ran, I felt not only the best but it was my best time yet.

I can't wait for The Last Kiss to come out!! I just hope that someone is willing to go see it with me!

Oh and I do think you hang out with drunk dirty bums .... and you're not cool anymore.

I'm thinking it's about 3:00 in the afternoon right now and I haven't done anything. I have played about 15 games of solitary on my pda, went for lunch, discussed the future of Scrubs with a co worker, recieved more details on my uncles vacation, watched a video of some dogs trying to get over a variety of barriers, and decided to stay away from a co worker (I think years of working here make people go crazy).

I can't wait to go back to school.

Fifteen Minutes........old

In fifteen minutes I make it to downtown for dimsum with my parents. It also takes me fifteen minutes to eat and an extra fifteen minutes to get back to work.

Once I get back to work, it takes me less than fifteen minutes to realize that what I thought I wanted to yesterday was mearly a phase. A phase which I'm sure you went through too (that look last year gave it all away). But the looks that you have been giving me recently tell me that you know all too well.

All too well about what I really want and I hope you stop it because it's getting embarassing. It only took fifteen minutes for me to convince myself of this and 2 minutes for me to get over it.

Maybe more like two months and some odd school days where it just wouldn't stop.

And you making a sandwich won't change my mind...because I'm sure it will taste like butt afterwards.

Fifteen minutes was the amount of time that it took me to see that eventually I will be able to visit my parents when I grow up without having to dread it. It's odd. Odd in the way that it makes me feel grown up and that I can't get mad at everything and anything anymore. It's probably better for my blood pressure anyway.

She then offered me facials.

But I'm not sure if I should be insulted or not because my dad says the facials will the get the crap out of my pores.

First the treadmill (thank you by the way) and now the facials. It makes me speachless!

And it is true I do feel different, especially towards you and I should just forget about it but it's not going to be that easy especially if I haven't heard from you. Oh wait, there was that phone call where the conversation was straggling so much that I wanted to strangle myself just so I would have an excuse to leave. And I can't put on that voice for you anymore that once came so naturally.

To be fair though, I wouldn't of said anything either but to continue on saying those things to me is just stupid.

I believed you. Even when I was tempted not to believe you, I did. And I have never judged you upon the things that you have done because I concluded that it was not neccessary on my part; other people (including yourself) have got that covered. But because you are so judgemental yourself, you seem to think that I will do it too.

It makes me livid to think of the fact that you could not see that I would not of judged you. I don't see how you didn't know that. People that I work with know that and that is with my guard up!

Stop being a fool with an insatiable appetite.

It's stupid. And yes I was the one who introduced you to patterns and Urban Outfitters so take that stupid can of glossed over liquid and fuck off.

There. My fifteen minutes are over.

P.S: I love you Zach Braff....and I totally understood Garden State.

I have a feeling...

...that I had a part in what my co-worker did to his hair. Though it doesn't look too bad, I did tell him that he resembles the tazmanian devil because the outter edges of his hair was starting to stick out agian. But I didn't think he would care of what I think...it's not like I'm his girlfriend or anything.

Then again this isn't the first time I have said things like that to him.

Either way, he won't have helmet hair (not that he ever did). I really hope he doesn't wear a white t-shirt to work or ask me to go to IGA for him.

Since he has gotten his bike, I can't stop thinking about getting a bike and when is a good time to take the bike course.

I also can't stop thinking about those shoes that I bought and whether or not I should keep them.

I'm hoping those bottles will save me.

IOU nothing

My 15 minute fast run yesterday was not very satisfying. Even though I was going at a higher speed than I usually would if I was going for a 40 minute or an hour run, I still didn't feel the strain in my stomach or the burning of my legs.

But you know what really does burn? When your co-worker that you have always waited so patiently for doesn't seem to mind the fact she likes to push you aside when the phone rings, or when someone else comes and just starts talking, or even when she gets an email that I do not understand. Work is more important than going outside for a smoke break or simply exchanging pleasentries.

But it would have been courteous of her just to inform me that she couldn't go outside for some fresh air because she has some work issue to deal with. It was obvious to me but I thought it was rude for her just not answer me.

Why would you make me wait for answer every single fucking time I ask you a question? I don't make you wait.

I never make you wait and I have listened to your complaining for much too long now and I think it's time for a breather where I don't spend my lunch hour listening to you moan and groan about how shitty you feel or about how fat you are.

Do something about it. I am here to listen but since I am not being paid to listen to you, it is expected that you do the same for me.

And unlike you, I will do something about it by decreasing the amount of time I have to spend with you and eventually I will stop.

Stop trying to think of things to cheer you up because obviously, nothing is good enough for you.

Disclaimer: I am only ranting because I am peeved and I am so bored at work I am considering of asking to leave early. It is an excellent if not pristine idea but shoes do not pay for themselves and I can't stand the idea of my parents paying for my tuition.


No.

Now I acknowledge the fact that most of blogs are rants with no real names except implications and second person referals but I like it this way. For if I were to reveal the names of the people that enrage me, all hell would break loose.

I would probably be the person to start it.

I need a hair cut. Part two

So I have decided against the idea of a short hair cut until I have to because I don't think short hair was ever for me. But I do like this picture of a girl that reminds me of Penelope Cruz because I enjoy how her hair is so full.

I have always like big, flowy hair.

But I will still go to the hair dressers because I would like it relayered and plus it's fun getting my hair cut. I just don't always agree how some people tend to style my hair with a curling iron afterwards. I mean have you not touched my hair? You just blow dry it and it will stay straight without any of the meaningless efforts of the curling iron. People used to curl the ends out but not many do now.

So please, don't come at me with a curling iron (or whatever pretencious name you want to put to it).

Speaking of grooming, I really hope that enginerring summer student takes good care of her feet because she likes to sleep with her feet up on her desk with a nasty fuzzy blanket covering her face. In addition to her rude display of her feet, she warrants the act of meditating on the sidewalk and letting someone give her a back massage via their feet while she is laying on the grass. Mind you though, all of this is not at a park or in the discretion of her backyard; it's at work. At work where people dress for function or for show and where people talk of retailers and architectual problems.

At work where if you nap, you probably should keep your feet at least under your desk and where masseuses most likely won't be conducting their actual business.


/oddcoworkers

I need a hair cut

So far I have managed to stay misquito bites free up until yesterday when Will and I took Marissa and Jason to K days (or I should say Capital X). I thought, the sun is beaming down on us with enough UV rays to turn us into melting pots.... there shouldn't be many bugs if any out.

Then again maybe it was the hour or two I spent outside trying to wash the exterior of my car last night under the refined shade of my garage and the sympathetic clouds. Marissa and Jason helped me only because they thought it was one of the funnest things in the world to be able to spray a car with a hose and rub car soap all over it with a fuzzy mitt that so conviently came with my car. Everything was going fine. Marissa almost enjoyed running back and forth for me and Jason liked the feeling of being able to sit up front on the passenger seat while I so skillfully reparked my car. I just didn't like how the boys were staring at us and drinking beer. I am all for drinking beer but sitting on your drive way like a bunch of high school low ballers is really no way to do it or show the kiddies what people should spend their time doing.

Come on. If you're going to spend a nice summer night outside taking your time guzzling down a beer, you could at least do it with some class. Buy a couple of chairs or something.

Or be of normal boys and drink it in front of a tv or a game of poker.

Anyway my car is clean, the grass is watered, the trampoline is cleaner, and my hair is getting long.

I want to get a hair cut but I'm a little lazy to spend a couple of hours at the mall with the kiddies.

Speaking of the kiddies, they are dark little ones now; especially Jason who was always darker than the rest of us (he must of got the grandpa gene). I hope they had fun, for Will and I risked our pale status to bring you guys to the carni fun.

I feel so energetic..but I can't stop yawning.
Weird!

One summer, Two summer

So after a weekend of torched plans, car washes, and a weird groggy feeling I enter the dreaded work week with high hopes of finding jeans and going to Gravity Pope.

That got torched too.

And so did my ebay account.

I know it. Just say it. You don't have to call me an idiot since I have already infused that thought into my brain about 60 times since yesterday.

But you had to rub it in just a little bit more didn't you? You took it and shoved it into my face with relentless glee and a hand that seemed to make my world black.

Oh jeeze was that 'black' comment ever emo, though I assure you I am not emo just uncomfortable.

I am trying to think of something to look forward to but since my eyes are puffy, stomach feeling empty, and my mood is some combination of indifference, irritated, and hopelessness I really can't pick out something. My shoes came in but I really can't care right now.

Though I realize and I admit that I am the one at fault. I am the one that should have said something but when I try and say something to you, I get stumped and all you say is, "It's okay sweety" and start to rub my back like a little child. That doesn't work with Jason anymore. What makes you think it will work with me?! And yes, I am distracted when I am on the phone but what is worse? Me being distracted on the phone or you completely blocking me out mid-sentence to laugh at how some birds walk and some low-end bread comment?

And please tell me what happened when I told you about what happened yesterday and what I did to put my self at ease so my hands will stop shaking? What response did you have? I am not a psychiatrist but I am pretty sure that it was not of anything supportive but more along the lines of demeaning. And not only did you make me feel like more of a moron, you made sure I knew that I was wrong. You made sure that I knew that I was idiot and what I did was stupid. What do you think I was thinking when I didn't talk to you? How nice it is that you are the one who is finally driving and not me? (by the way, its not that nice.) How about how much closer I feel to you? Because none of those things are true and I am sure you know it.

I don't know what it is but I feel so done. Like my puffy eyes can't get anymore puffy and my home life can't make me anymore irritated. Oh and thanks for driving.

That was a real treat.

Just like last year (excluding the puffy eyes and odd fly aways), I am dreading to go to work but unable to get out of it. No road trip. No going out. Nothing.

Fuck all I wanted was to buy jeans so I'll just go by myself. Or maybe I'll ask that co worker who also seems so keen on tennis.

This just sucks.

So stop slapping your feet around like that. And I don't want you to come to greet my parents when they come as their unchanged selves. Nor do I want to go myself because I am just so sick of the nagging. I don't know why but she just won't stop. And she doesn't understand.

I know. I know! What of 'I know' don't you understand? If you really thought I was that stupid, why did you put me in this? Why did you give me all of this to deal with and then still expect me to obey to every single fucking word you say? Go out too much?! I haven't gone out in like three years! I haven't had a single fucking day of not feeling like I am 40 and actually feeling like I am 20.

It's mind boggling how when I tell you that you are nagging, you just nag more and more and more. It honestly feels like a mud slide. It feels like once I have it under control and all seems well, you come and criticize the one thing that I like to do reward myself. Like watching a fucking movie.

Oh I m sorry, I should stop going out so much. I should just stay home 24/7 and become so dull and bored that I can't even conduct a normal conversation anymore.

But that is only for me right? It shouldn't apply to anyone else and it's okay that it only applies to me because being the oldest means that things are unfair for me. Again, that's okay right? It's okay for you to do that because you are you.

And here is another thing I don't understand. When Sarah was so uncorporative and stubborn, you nagged at me for her not doing anything. You said to me that Sarah doesn't do anything and you said to me that she should.

Well no shit. I was the one who told you all this in the first place. I was the one who bitched at her for not doing anything, for assuming that she was free to do whatever the fuck she wanted, for not holding up her unspoken part. I was the one who conveyed this to you and what do you do? You call me and you nag at me by telling me this.

Holy fuck. I tell you to tell Sarah this because since I have already exhausted my vocal cords from bitching, I really didn't need to hear this again. And yet you still hold that phone and speak into it like you are doing something right. Why the fuck didn't you tell her? Why the fuck didn't you tell her that she is the one who is wrong for once and not me. Same with the kiddies. You think that by nagging at me, it will somehow translate that message to them. It will somehow teach them what you want to teach them.

No it doesn't. It just aggrevates me even more and even when I tell you that you should be the one speaking to them about how you feel, you get mad at me because I am being disrespectful to you. Holy shit. I don't know how you managed to keep me from setting something on fire or from running away because now that I look at it, I really see how ridiculous it is.

I am done. I know what you want out of me and what kindof a person I should be. I know. But they don't and what you continue to do is sending the message that it doesn't apply to them.

But of course it doesn't. It only applies to me because I am the oldest and of course they will follow my example. You just assumed that.

And now because you refuse to teach them anything and insist on infusing stuff into me, I don't know how they will react to you when they get older.

The other one of you is even worse.

And you are no better.

Last summer and this summer.

Oh my....not in a good way

I hope the co-op student cuts his hair soon.

It could be worse than the blazer and wife beater with socks and sandals.

Bring back the extra small hoodies and I will stop bashing how overly priced your clothes are.

First and foremost, I extend my congratulations and best wishes to Will as he has very recently aquired a vehicle. A vehicle which serves as the primary mode of transportation between him and work, him and me (though I still want to drive*), and him and his buddies. At first I was excited for him because he has yearned for a car for a long time now; so long that I can't even fathom the time period. Though it needs a car wash and a good wax, I am sure that it will serve you well.

I would also like to say that I am sorry for what happened between you and him. I always thought you guys looked good together and I thought it was for him. But as I was telling my friend the other day, who would you pair someone up that is not the most interesting person in the world with? I really do wonder. Maybe he has to find that one person that doesn't find him boring and is actually facinated by him.

Anyway, it is Friday today and I can't wait for the weekend. Mostly because I dread work and I dream about going on trips and seeing more of the world through my own eyes than through pictures and other people's descriptions. I shouldn't complain. I get a comfortable chair, all the coffee and tea that I can handle, unrestricted use of stationary, and the company of the internet. Despite all of these perks, I haven't done anything for a good while now and since I finished my book yesterday I don't have too much to keep me awake right now. I should have just went out for lunch yesterday. Staring at something for a long time under a flourescent light gives me a headache. But I won't complain.

I won't bitch about how much my summer has sucked so far and how confused I am about what I should do with my future. Instead I will focus on a prospective Calgary road trip and a AFI concert (and maybe Story of the Year). In addition to these gleeming perhaps, I have been able to do some cardio this past week and completed some much over due forms that needed y attention. Though it feels like lately that everything has been needing my attention and the ironic thing is that when I start talking, people just start to ignore me.

So forget it. You can do it yourself.

Superman was one of the best and most entertaining movies I have seen so far. But it is movies like that where it makes me miss the early stages of dating where everything and anything could be interpretted as romantic. When he called it was mostly to distract him from the headache that he had or just to say that he misses me and this would be his motivation to build a teleportation device to bring the distance between us to a minimal. It is the movies like Superman and King Kong where it makes me realize that I miss having romance in my life and that actually makes me kindof sad.

Not like I am going to break down crying sad (I have other things to cry about).

My reaction was the same when I watched King Kong with Will. In a way it was spured on though by the fact that he said "I am going to go eat dimsum with sergio" when I said I wanted to go eat dimsum. I know that that doesn't sound offending but it made me think that Will was even less romantic than he already was.

It was just in the context and in my frame of mind.

Well leaving the subject of my uncharmed life, I wish Sarah the best in finding a summer job. Well more like her first job that she will keep for longer than 2 weeks and won't have to complian about being splashed with hot water or being obligated to wear a hair net (I am so glad that we have regulations here).

At work I haven't really done anything since 2 pm yesterday (i.e about 14 hours ago). There just wasn't anything to do and it made me realize how small and boring this building is.

I'm just glad for the weekend to come.

P.S: Lunch was fun, except I stink now.

Good bye two precious months of my summer, I will be thinking of you while I am on my trampoline reading about other people's adventures and thoughts. I hope they make me feel alive like the time travellers wife did. Compelling or not, I loved it... just like those shoes at Town Shoes.

Oh my.

P.S.S: Bring back the extra smalls. Just because we are averaged sized doesn't mean we have to be subjected to baggy clothing that we are two inches too small for.

You are NOT rocking it out over there

Billy Joel?!

Billy Joel?! Do you even know who Billy Joel is?! For a person who is a self proclaimed FOB and likes to pretend that they are cute, quoting Billy Joel is just weird! Out of context, out of style (like yourself), and really out of your range.

So please stick to your Abercrombie and Fitch, your glossed ways, fob music, and annoying ways of expressing yourself on the internet. I am sure all the independently minded people will be pleased.

Now I know I am speaking for a mass but I am trying to be general in the hopes of getting you to stop annoying me. A hard task, I know. I hope you and your lame boyfriend enjoy your superficial lives because I am sure on the surface you really will.

So to end a bitter rant, I'll post about my birthday celebration which was fun because I have never seen so many buns gone to waste. Well they weren't really wasted since the ducks and geese seemed really eager to get some bread.

I would think those birds should be insulted because we didn't feed those birds buns out of generosity and compasion but we fed them those buns because when they dropped on the ground, we felt that they were too dirty for us humans to eat. Thus, we didn't really do a good deed. The ducks and geese were there as a convient garbage disposale.

Yup, thats me! An advocate for cleaner bread for the birds at Harwlake park. But this will end once they start to shit on my car.

So after everyone was full (especially Stefen who basically fell asleep) we went over to the lake and it went something like this:
- Joanna some how fumbled the foot ball into the water....twice
- A kind man with a toy motor boat pushed the football back to Joanna (only to be dropped in the water again)
- Phil played pass with some paddle boaters for a little while
- Will lossing Joanna's expensive frisbee in the water
- Us sharing a large pop
- Ran into Reed
- lost Natalie and Paris
- met a nice man who gave us wood

In end I realized I know nothing about how to bbq and all I know is what supplies to get; except I forgot to bring a lighter. But good thing I had matches, which are now gone, that I kept for some odd reason from a long time ago.

Oh mysterious matches, did you ever save me from a headache. I hope you have a good home now.

I enjoy Harwlake park, I think I'll go back there this weekend. This time I'll be sure to bring a lighter.

Fast forward to about a month later and here I am. 20 years old, missing my hair dye, tired of my hair, and looking forward to not working. Sadly though, my height does not exponentially grow or grow in a linear fashion along with my age. Just 1.5" more and I will be content.

This weekend flew by so fast that I barely could feel that it was here. Though the lawn is mowed (thanks Will!) and watered, I can't help but feel like the laziest person in the world! I bought some new nail polish, a book, and a new idea that will help me feel like my creativity was not left with my grade 1-2 teacher who I feel was a bitch.

If a child has to pee, she really means it you prejudicial moldy bitch.

I apologize. I do not have ADD. I really don't but when I think of things to type, I tend to go off on tangents that tend to be related in one way or another because it reminds me of events that I usually am not too happy about. So believe me and don't try to recommend me to take some redilen (how ever you spell it). I am already frantic and if I can't sleep at night, I will go crazy with stress and turn to dark sunglasses to hide the evidence.

So to end this reckless post, please read on:
*X3 was a bad movie
*I can't wait for swimming and picnicing
*I need to run more often
*I can't wait for my hair cut
*I am getting a little apprehensive about buying a coffee maker

This is just wierd.

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Since he belongs on the radio, you belong on my iRiver

Okay. Don't panic.

Wow, I miss shopholic books.


Conor Oberst is coming!!!

And I would like to let all my readers (all being 2 to maybe 3 of them...if I am having a good day) that I do have closet space left and that it is not all taken up by my clothes, shoes, bags, memories, and other things that I find awesome. Although I still have to find room for my new and not so new shoes, I'll still have room left.

So please Will, if you would like to move your clothes to my room go ahead. I do have room for you and you do not just have a corner.

Thank you. My palms have stopped sweating now.

P.S: How come the co-op student who always talks to me likes to walk away while he's talking?

It's okay. I won't panic about it.

You Belong on the Radio

And I belong on the road where I get to yell at drivers and give them dirty looks for nearly side sweeping me, breaking when it is uneccesary, letting not one but five other cars in who just happens to drive slower than my dad.

My dad doesn't actually drive that slow. He just drives the speed limit.

I do hope those people can feel my strong but short hatred for them when I give them dirty looks because it's the only way I can really tell them that their driving skills are poor.

Poor. Poor and the only thing that can make a bad driver and worse driver, is an extremely nervous driver. Someone who is so afraid to move their eyes off of the car that is 25 miles in front of them that they don't shoulder check and end up moving into my lane trying to squeeze their way infront of me.

It's a vicious circle. You build yourself up to a nervous driver and once you are too nervous and scared about what is going on infront of you (which in reality, nothing is), you forget about all of the other people that are happening to be driving right beside you.

Bad drivers....no....idiot drivers live in a 2D land when they're behind the wheel. It's just them, the car(s) right in front of them and perhaps (if they're having a good day where their palms aren't making it hard to grip the steering wheel) the cars behind them.

I can understand that driving in the city can make a person nervous. But I highly doubt that no one has ever told you that the more nervous you are, the more your muscles tighten up (mytonia) and tunnel vision sets in even when your rods on the lateraltempora sides are still in good shape!

I have no paitent. Although I should but I really don't. If one is so scared about driving, they should take the bus. Granted not all of these drivers who think the "driving world" is a place where 2D comes to life can trade their vehicle of hell for public transportation but those who can, should.

And when I rule the world with my off-colored-fist, I will find these nervous drivers and train them.

Train them into super drivers and make them stop causing havock...especially for me.

But for now, fuck you. Fuck off and take the fucking bus.

On a higher note, Bright Eyes is coming in less than a week and Pilate is coming back! I am not positive if I am going since I just messaged Will about it and I don't know how likely he will agree since he doesn't listen to them.

He should start though. In fact, I think I'll message him right now and tell him to start listening to them. I love unlimited text messages to a person where you have an unlimited amount of things to say to.

It is finally friday and since 7:30 I have been at work and I honestly haven't completed anything. I started something and then someone took the computer from me and hasn't returned it to me yet. All of this free time (which is still paid by the way) has allowed me to do some research on some up coming concerts (hence the Pilate announcement), drink a litter of water with no sense of remorse, do more research on the clothes that stores have to offer, look at the shoes that are just too much for me, walk around to try to feel better (which is useless), and dance around in the bathroom because I am just that bored.

It's hard dancing in heels. Even if they're only an inch or so high. It's fun dancing in the bathroom. Even though I fear someone else walking in to discover me prancing around the bathroom for no apparent reason. The music is my head. I swear. And I am not imagining that there are actually other people there. I just like dancing.

And I secretly like getting drunk. I feel like everything is fine and just dandy. Dandy to the point where I feel like kissing everyone and telling everyone that I love them. And it's true. For that one night I do love everyone and I don't have any intention of telling them to fuck off.

I think alcohol makes you feel needy. But it feels sooooo good! Just not the hangover.

But a beer or a little bit more alcohol actually cures the hangover if it doesn't kill you first. The hangover is just the withdrawl from the penetrating effects of alcohol.

So there you have it. I enjoy getting drunk. Although I am sure that there are a million people that enjoy getting smashed just for the hell of it.

In fact I might want to do that this weekend! But wait. I will probably have to drive if I go out and I don't always like Will driving because quite frankly, it's still scary when he drives. I guess I'll just stick to my regular couple of drinks and hate the taste of fermentation that is left in mouth.

So long euphoria. You were awesome when you were here.

Oh cinna bum

Hi, I love you.

And I think that's all I have to say for now.

Oh, it really is you're and not your when you're attributing something to someone, like a quality. Your is someone's possessions and not the shortened version of you are.

Idiot.

Here I thought it was always the other way around

I have never really paid much attention to Arcade Fire but I was listening to Sonic this morning and this one Arcade Fire song that was played reminded me of movies that I used to watch as a kid. I think Arcade Fire needs to pay their respects and some loyalties to Wong-Fei-hong because their base sound or whatever the fuck you call it is exactly from the Wong-fei-hong series. The ultimate on screen Chinese fighting machine should be insulted.



P.S: I like bbq's now and happy belated birthday to me

Strokes

After a grudingly long night with a pounding head and heart ache, I finish making Sarah's lunch and fall asleep only to wake up a meek 6 hours later to a loud alarm and catchy cell phone with tones that I downloaded for free.

Take that corporate America! (But I still secretly love you for all you're worth).

Yes people. It's you're. Not your.

I come to work and it's so nice outside I can't stand to stay inside any longer. I wander the halls waiting for my manager to be released of a meeting that I don't know anything about (and I probably will never know), grabbing a cool looking pen that I probably won't use any time soon, and talking to a co-worker who no longer facinates me.

I hope you don't read this because I am pretty sure you know who you are. Though you are one of the younger remaining employees here, we just have nothing in common. But fortunatly for you, there is another summer student that seems to be super keen on satisfying your socialization needs.

I am sure she'll satisfy others too if you give her enough bread. I also hope that was subtly too you fucking dick bag.

Relentless bashing aside, it's still fun to bump into you. Just don't ask me how work is again please.

At 4:30 I race out of the parking lot and head to WEM. But Will's bus left early and has left him stranded at Westmount mall for another half an hour, his cell phone is dead, and I have no fucking clue where it is. Sure I could probably bus there but what use is that? I receieve directions but they just lead me to yellowhead trail that bascially lead me back to work! Now who wants that?!

So it's 5:30, I've driven for an hour basically, gained nothing but a headache, a warm seat, and new profound frustration for driving. Though I am grateful for air conditioning, I really need to get a GPS system. I thought it was just a luxury thing but it comes in handy, especially when the place you are trying to find has a mysterious address and seems hidden in the far fucking east.... to me it was any way.

Will and I eventually make it to the concert and end up having a pretty good time. The opening act resembled much of Stars's style and it was much too epic to open for The Strokes. Every song was grand, every point of their time on stage was orchestrated like they were playing for the soundtrack of Star Wars.

Too much. I can only take a couple epic stories a week.

Once Will finishes off his over priced 7-up with a ridiculous amount of ice, we head off to the seats and secure ourselves a good viewing spot on the bleachers. It was good spot but even when I was on a rise, white boys still came up and managed to block my view. Fuck, what did they feed you?

The lights start flashing and soon enough people start crowd surfing. I see one thin legged person and I thought to myself, "why am I not surprised that you're here?"

That's besides the point because as the night goes on, Julien (sp?) keeps singing and the drummer doesn't stop pounding on his drums .... until 10:15 that is. They make me fall in love with them once again and make me forget that my birthday was a mere 2 hours away. Shaw is not such a good venue for these shows unfortunatly because at times all I could process was the screeching of the bass and beating of the drums drowning out the lead vocals. It probably is like this in other places too but I'll still complain about it.

All in all it was fantastic and having this much fun makes up for Saturday night and the shitty weekend I had.

Bright Eyes is coming and I can't wait! I am contemplating Dashboard Confessionals too but it depends on what day it is on. City and color isn't bad but I haven't heard all of their music yet to give a valid opinon.

I don't know why but I am feeling that motion sickness again. Perhaps Will will explain that to me soon.

Soon meaning now.

It's 10:20 am and I am at work with nothing to do but to read my book on human sexuality. I would call it my sex book but I might get arrested by Harper for saying sex without any intention to talk about abstinence.

People don't realize it but if you don't talk about it or try to educate the younger generation on it, sex I mean, there will be even more blind mistakes made. I hope you know that. And I hope you realize that soon. Following Bush is just suicide. I am not a politician but silencing the communication part, the most important part, will lead to disaster if not ruins. Though I am not saying that people should be having sex whenever they want, but people should have the knowledge about the risks and everything else that helps them make the right decison.

Sex sells. We all know that, unless we are devote Buddhist monks that have reached such a high level of consciousness that we are unaffected by such deliberations. Thus for the person that did not recieve any information other than from the government, who are so distant and not even remotely reachable, saying that sex is only for married heterosexual couples and messages from the media basically telling this person who should be having sex, how you should, and if you consume their product people will more likely invite you in. In the end when the person does decide to have sex, they are ill informed. The media is biased and glorifies everything anything inorder to sell, plus the governments message is unprecedent it is practically a waste of money. So while companies are benefiting from making people hot and bothered, the government is finding new ways to control people.

Ironic how so much money and time is being spent on such opposite sides of the spectrum. But no real knowledge is being spoken off, unless it is about abstinence. People won't make all of their decisions based on messages coming from something so intangible, you controlling and manipulative fool.

It's almost lunch and I can't wait.

Silently fuming and yet I am expected to take it. I say Fuck it.

It's ironic that the less I do something that the more my mom nags at me about it. Take for instance, talking on your cell phone while driving. I rarley do it and when I do I try to make it short as possible. The thing that really pisses me off is that she nags at me infront of everyone else because she knows I'll be less condesending about it then. Even if I tell her that I don't she will still say, "Well I am just telling you."

Yet she called me on my cell phone the day before my parents came back to again, tell me not to talk on the phone.

Have I mentioned that she does this quite a bit, especially when I am actually driving?

And have I stressed that this is long distance and it's not her that's paying for the bill?

And finally, have I pointed out how ironic everything is?

It makes me angry, really.

If you are going to nag at me, atleast wait for me to go home and tell me to call you back so we don't rack up the long distance bill, again.

It's ironic how she tells me something over and over again but I have already done it the first time that she asked and yet she still feels compelled to nag at me driving my minutes out of the acceptable range. Not to mention, my sanity.

Oh shit, mother's day is coming up.

Apparently people can come from candy land too

My assigment was finished before noon and so did my iRiver that keeps me sane, awake, and feeling like it is okay to just want to dance. I should brought my charger with me. I knew one battery bar wouldn't last me 8.5 hours plus the drive to and from home. Oh well. Now that I have my access pass, I can wander the halls, get tea whenever my eyes won't focus anymore, and stock myself up with an endless supply of pens that I'll most likely never get around to using.

Binders. I actually need binders.

I don't usually enjoy tuesday/thursday classes that much but for my first semster I am just packed with......those. Too many! I just hope they are interesting and fun to atten, but I guess I shouldn't be asking for too much. Night classes are actually useful and helpful in the fact that the finals are written in class. I always used to thought that they were way too late for me and that I would rather go home and just finish early. But staying at school and actually getting more done is always the better choice.

Finally the tickets for Bright Eyes are picked up and I cannot wait!! It's going to be so awesome!! Though I am not sure to what extend Will will enjoy it but too late now!!

Tweleve minutes to go and then I can go home. I can't wait. I am supposed to rake and mow the lawn but work has sucked the life out of me and has bored me to death. I really wish my iRiver had batteries so I could get this Britney Spears song out of my head.

Speaking of Britney Spears, I think she is the most well marketed fake-singer in the world. Everything is computerized and you can hear it but people still like her because she is good to look at. Not so much now because she probably never learned to put on makeup, choose out the right clothes, or even the maintanence of her hair. It is okay though. She has enough money to hire people for that. Her husbands' head shape really annoys me. It is really round and very lollipop like compared to rest of him. It's like his head got squished in the process of birth. But I give you credit though for landing one of the most wanted girls on earth. Oh! He looks like that girl who is going out with the guy from the witchcraft class. She also has a lollipop head that makes her look not so cute and makes me wonder what her personality must be like. The guy is pretty good looking I must say but his girlfriend has a lollipop for a head.

Staring at the computer screen with no need for brain power makes me lightheaded and grumpy. Goodnight.

Natural is not comfortable

Shitty how people loose paper work and shitty how I don't get an access pass that actually works because these idiots lost my paper work. Shitty how I have to knock on the door each time after I go to the bathroom and shitty how there is nothing to eat here except chocolate bars.

On the bright side there's free tea, coffee and stationary. Kleptomania here I come. It's ironic though that I can get all the tea and coffee I want (stationary too but I don't want to look like an idiot) yet I don't have a true cubicle, garbage can, access pass, or real useful assignment.

But I am not complaining, just embellishing on the wonderful world that is mine.

Bright eyes and The Strokes are coming up and I can't wait!!! Plus my birthday. Though I never really am excited at the fact that I am getting older, it's an excuse to have a bbq. This time though, I would like it if no one ran away for no good reason.

I can feel myself getting ecstatic! I can also feel the blood rushing back to my skin tissue as the hot water drown my hands in the bath. It's not quite a tingly feeling but it is cool, though I wouldn't want to do it too often.

For middle aged men who work as IT guys are pretty loud. Things are being thrown around and jokes that I clearly don't understand are played out, all in the while I am sitting here doing the most mundane work of all. The most boring and mind numbing computer task ever.

The only pick me up I can count on is getting free stationary and caffinated drinks. Like every other high, it doesn't last for long and the artery that always gets pinched when I sit in a comfortable position doesn't hesistate to tell me that I should adjust. But I guess I should care for the health and safety of my leg cells and my leg in general so I will adjust. Just calm down on the pain sensors. Sheesh. After all, I need my leg to catch all of those assholes that I intend to bottle just for being assholes.

By the way, these people are at the extreme end of the spectrum. They were born assholes and were put through traning just to be assholes and to annoy the rest of the world. Yet as always, I am here to shatter something. Whether it be your myths or your stereotypes that I blantlatly refuse.

Six minutes and counting.

Weee Gilmore Girls, Scrubs, and Teachers tonight!

If only that button worked

I'll be seeing you on June 7. If my exclamation mark button worked, it would help me fill the page with excited rants and ridiculously long words that try to describe the excitement that bursted out of me when I saw the posting on ticketmaster.

Obsessed I may be. Okay I am but I do love him.

This definetly beats the Strokes but I hope there aren't too many teeny boppers there. Though I am sure there will only be hardcore emo kids with black nail polish that matches their black sweatshirt.

I am sure I am going to love this.

David Bowie, you're too cool

And yes, I would say that with an odd but smooth twist to my voice.

Early side note: I hate it when people spell 'you're' as 'your'. I am pretty bad at grammar myself but at least I know the difference between the two. You might instantly think that only fobs or any other sort of immigrant would commit such a heinous act on the English language like that, but I am here to shatter your stereotypes (and the gnome of yours that you secretly love so much. They really creep me out. House wives and eclectic fathers, what were you thinking?).

My laptop has been damaged by an unfortunate and almost fated event, an entire cup of spilled chocolate milk. It claimed a small number of victims (keys) but it can be fixed because my genius of a cousin (not sarcastically) cleaned the keys for me and managed to trick the operators of Best Buy into thinking it is a glich. Success! It should be a law for me to buy warranty of electronics whenever I can because a number of uncalled for damaging events have taken place in the past. The irony of it all. I am one of those people that like to keep the plastic covers on my new mp3 players, cell phones, and even encouraging stickers on computers and laptops that try to make it into your mind as a last thought. Despite all of my effort to maintain everything in its mint conditon, the plastic still manages to come off. It's not crazy, I hope.

Actually I don't think I would give two shits. As of right now, Jason is running around with a skipping rope tied around his tiny child waist and screaming as if he is having the best time of his life. I am not sure what Marissa is doing but I am positive that she will do almost the exact same in a matter of minutes. To my point, I think the entire world has stopped to caring and I am glad. You pretencious assholes with bad taste have to stick together for fear of realizing how uncool and ignorant you all have been. Honestly. Your group has some of the most wealthiest kids in University and yet all you do is conform to the social norms, look like what Corporate America tells you to look like, and center your life around meaningless celebrations of (once again) meaingless shit.

I know what you meant when you said '....everyone backed out.' It really was not true but the word everyone has a different connation for you. I don't hate you though, it just really didn't impress me.

Despite the formless people walking around wasting precious oxygen, the sky is now routinely blue, the sun is always out, I am getting my recommended almost of sun expose to increase my vitamin D, and I can't wait to break out my trampoline and tennis rackets. It is so much easier to get up in the morning now and I can't wait to have my two barbeques.

I am breaking out my leggings and soundgirl dress.

Oh ridicously fruity patterns that makes your mind boggle, how I love you.

Like I was thinking

All I want to do all day is watch Scrubs, What I like About you, read various books and go outside....all in the while I am wearing my pearls (except if I'm going to play some sports of course!)

No, I hope it gets slammed in YOUR face.

Thank you.

I think it's safe to say that saying those two words are faster and easier to say than typing it, writing it, or even thinking it. I always thought that in Canada and in developed countries, manners come in a packaged deal for middle class families; especially if they're white. If your mom or dad gives you food so you can live to do all of those thoughts that you have concocted from the streaming media that is Disney, wouldn't you say thank you? And would you not say thank you to your mom and dad for allowing you to live in their house until you're old enough to move out or pay them rent?

I know if I didn't say thank you or please to my parents or grandparents, I would never hear the end of it...or even feel the end of it.

Even in school manners were applied and enforced. I remember a classmate who didn't say thank you and gave the teacher attitude about when asked, got a half hour detention after school. Now, was it really worth it?

Pride can be such a bitch.

So given all of that training, conditoning, and reminding, how come you will not say thank you to a nine year old girl who is standing there and blantly holding the door for you? Next time, I'm just going to instruct her to slam to door on your face so the whole world can see your dirty ass on the ground.

Everybody is an offender. I have to say "your welcome" in a monotone and unpleased voice just so you're reminded of what manners are. They really only are one to two letter words that take less than two seconds to say. They don't even require that much input from higher level brain functions.

Furthermore and to a close, you disappoint me. I would throw my fruit at you, but the fruit's too good for you.

On a happier note, I'm getting the Loop backpack that I have been eyeing at since Christmas! It was much cheaper buying it on Ebay so I guess you were right Will.

People talk about travelling a lot and going out to see the world, but for now I am dreaming of wearing awesome Diesel jeans and vintage clothing from The Paper Bag Princess (along with my loop backpack of course!). Not just vintage clothing, but clothing with patterns that boggle your mind and jeans that make your heart skip a beat. They might not be as powerful as that hot guy from Rutherford or Cameron but I think they'll keep me happy.

Yes, that did sound materialistic.

Were you looking for an excuse after that?

I'm tired of excuses. In other words, I don't care.

I just finished the hardest test in the world on Friday and now I'm off to do my two psychology assigments, Political Science midterm and paper, and Witchcraft presentation.

But first, the snow has to be shoveled.

Fine.

Good luck on your test!

And you're right. Too much onions make me sick =(

Random

Hi Charles!

Dear mind

Stop trying to protect me. I know the possibilities and I know what might happen. It's clearly written out for me and I don't want to see another positive possibility. It's unfair of you to leave me ignorant and feeling remorseful after each realization because it just hurts that much.

So stop it.

We as humans have the ability of foresight and thus I have already come up with a slight plan. How it will work out, I am not sure. But I will hope for the best and do what I can. I wish I did have those miraculous healing abilities that does wonders without having to toy around with chemicals; just our minds.

It's so ironic. And I hate it. I hate how past words are coming back and making me realize what I thought about. I wish I never have and that's the irony of it. I just wish I knew the significance of it when I was thinking of those words.

Not all of it was bad though. My grade 5/6 teacher once said that we only remember the bad things in life and I half heartedly agree. I also hated him, his wife, and his pretensions children. Fuck off you little assholes or I'll throw my neatly placed pencil crayons at you. The only good thing that I remember from that teacher was that he said I learned multiplication fast. But don't give yourself too much credit you asswipe (who probably wishes he was an exhibitionist- I mean who wears such short shorts and a speedo in front of his 12 year old students?), it was my mother (who secretly wishes she was an accountant) who clarified things for me. My dad taught me division because you were too engrossed in your fucken bull legs and preaching about what not to eat.

Okay so he had a point. Memories of anger are pretty prevalent but I hope the good ones or at least intentionally good ones are enough to keep you here. Despite all of the shit and feelings of rejection that become uprooted, it just would not be the same.

Stay.

And in exchange, I'll take all of the bad memories. After all, I am the only bitter one.

What a geek

I think the Axe deoderant commercials are funny and entertaining. They didn't bother to go out of their way to be subtle, clever, or even witty. Just fruity and blunt.

"Buy our deoderant and you'll attract hot women who don't think twice about why they're with you."
And why is it never that deoderant commercials targeted at women use sex as a selling point? They're always so much more serious than mens. For instance, an Axe commercial has women litterally jumping at this one guy (who's not ugly but not exactly an Orlando Bloom). Where are all the men jumping at the women?

Okay, so that would hurt. I wouldn't want a guy who's 50 pounds heavier than me to act like the Blob and jump on me. That would not make me want to buy that deoderant and certainitly stay away from any Blob like guys.

But thanks to my new gaming habits, I'm sure I've become more faster. I wouldn't go as far as being more agile or even Wolverine-like, but more.... we'll say alert. That's a good word.

Don't test that though. Or else I'll throw my recent garbage at you and considering what just happened, I'm sure you would not enjoy that. Satisfaction guaranteed!

Back to the point, I guess those deoderant companies have a point. Sex just doesn't work that well with deoderant sales to women. But pacakaging and practicality does.

Well. It does with me.
Hilarious I say, hilarious!

Holly fruitcakes I've spent so much money this month. I think the only thing that I have not bought yet is a lamp.

And speaking of a lamp, I saw one that I wanted in Winners. Oh Winners. Of course Sarah stopped me from buying "useless" things and "stuffing" my room with them. Honestly, I think my room does have a lot of junk but that's my fault because I really have given up on making it work. So really, it's just stuff that doesn't have a proper place.

On the same note as the fruitcake, I've realized how much I miss listening to RHCP. There is no direct nor popular correlation, just an inside joke.

Wow I'm like a thesarus today.

The downloading of Scrubs was unfortunatly demolished due to a fake file. Fuck you fake files. And fuck you jam /condiment stealer of today! Maybe if you eased up on those condiments you could use the stairs again!

Okay that was mean but really. How much does jam really cost? Now if it was Gucci made jam or something ridiculous and just fucking stupid like that, I could understand. Who the hell would pay twenty five dollars for a jar of jam? I guess the jam/condiment stealer of today wouldn't even pay $2.50!

I hate people sometimes. Okay all the time, especially in the morning. Especially when they think I'm an idiot who gave birth to two kids already. Have you ever thought that maybe I'm babysitting? Maybe I'm doing someone a favour and guaranteeing the safety of their children? Perhaps you're just an idiot with bad judgement and a prejudice-filled head.

Actually, I think that is just it.

P.S: I think Logan is an asshole. A good looking asshole with nicely colored hair.

I miss the Gilmore Girls and I realized that I have a love-hate relationship with school. I hate the people and I hate how people don't use soap. But I love the fact that I'm still working towards something.

I also love burning things. CDs and DVDs that is. My short lived pyro days are....well...gone (considering how they were short).