Don't worry, Chayle has her cat tail

Theresa's house is amazing and full of computers and an extra large television screen! Oh to live in the lap of luxury! We first sat outside to enjoy the summer night and engulf the yummy food that was brought along and that Theresa's made. I never realized how much I loved spring rolls! I wonder why they call them spring rolls.

After our bellys were full, we ventured outside and explored her vast and rather lush neighbourhood. There were flowers, nicely trimmed lawns, man made ponds with plastic shores (hahahahhaha Natalie- good thing you held onto the steel poles!), fountains that could be geysers (well, maybe not that high but pretty nonetheless), and towering houses with impressive balconies and visible firepits.

Now we all know that if you walk your dog, you have to bring a garbage bag with you because if the dog poops, you'll have to pick it up. But in Theresa's community, you don't have to bring your own bag! They have stations placed in popular spots to provide you with dog poop bags! I don't own a dog, but that's cool!

In addition to plastic shores, there are even cat tails growing from the sides! Chayle tried to pull one off and it took considerable effort. Natalie tried to lend a hand, but it still wouldn't release itself from its stalk and Natalie screamed that it was wet. When the hot dog looking plant finally gave into Chayle, she kept shaking it in our faces and even pretended to fend off wolves with it. Just writing this makes me tickle with laughter inside.

Oh shit it was hilarious. And not just the cat tail, but EVERYTHING!

Including the deadlock moments of fooseball, Chayle wacking the cat tail on the mansion's protective gate and a random fence, Natalie's attempt to jump a fence, and of course the cooling moment of sitting on the edge of the fountain behind Theresa's house.

I think that was the most I've laughed since I saw Wedding Crashers with Will.

I just wish I had more batteries in my shitty camera.

Good times. I wish we had them more often.

Have I said how excited I am to end work? My co-workers are great but I don't want to do this job for another extra week or anything. I'm getting sick of it.

Gas is gettting pricey. Thank God I don't have to drive that much after Friday since gas is going up to 1.20. I hate driving. I really do. The only good thing is that I get to blast my music and sing to it as loud as I want without having to deal with complaints.

Get out if you don't like it.

No I'm not that mean... maybe.

Last friday, I got surprised with a lunch at Moxies and cool things from Epcor. Jeezes it's good sometimes to work for a beauracracy.

I wish that stupid fitted blazer would go on sale.

It's so sureal to look at pictures. To look at the moments and think about the events that have and gone. These images make me realize that yet again, I'm getting older and I'm not quite sure this is where or what I wanted to be say, three years ago. I also think, jeezes I look stupid. Or how come I always smile like that? (My smile never turns out the way that I think it will). I know pictures are suppose to capture happy moments and allow us to cherish them but they almost make me sad and despondent about my life. So that was then and this is now.

Great.

The ironic thing is that I like taking pictures. In fact, I used to want to make a career out of it. But once I wished for that, I knew that it wouldn't work out because my parents would never allow me and creativity isn't always a part of me. It makes me wonder than why I wanted to be a photographer in the first place. Perhaps I thought taking pictures were fun and hey, since I'm having so much fun, why not get paid for it too!

Jeezes I can be so materialistic and superficial.
It's fun sometimes.

Maybe I wanted to be a photographer because I know that I'd see my life sliding away without any proper memoralbilia that forces me to reflect and revive the drive in me. Perhaps even I wouldn't even remember what it felt like to be in that very spot and see the world the way I did and think of all the things that came. All the things that I could not see coming and everything that I did not want.

It's a fact that smell is heavly associated with memories, so what is a visual representation? I believe visual objects works to revive all senses that associate with your memories. Sometimes, I can even smell the atmosphere of the picture and relish that point. That point where I felt happy. That point where I thought, what's going to happen next?

Red Eye

Will and I saw Red Eye on Friday night and I must say that I really enjoyed it! The plot wasn't fantastic or anything but I loved what the movie focused on. With a lot of thriller movies based in the states, a lot of time and attention is spent on the high political officials and how important and powerful they are. In Red Eye, there was such a figure involved but the details of his life were vague and were only presented to connect the vital role that Racheal McAdams played (whom by the way is a total hottie) with Cilian Murphy's role. Ironcially, Murphy's name is Jack Ripner.

I think it's funny how they threw that name in there. I mean, they could've picked hundreds of other names that correspond to the initials J.R. Hilarious!

I cannot wait to go shopping! Back to school shopping is the best I swear. It's stationary AND clothes! It's the best combination and it gets me all riveted and excited for what's to come.

Speaking of stationary, I want to purchase this notebook from Coles but common sense is telling me it's stupidly over-priced and I only want to buy it because it looks cool. But then again, it does look so cool.........


I guess I should wait then.

I'm also going to go buy Garden State: such an awesome movie.

They all come in packs....endless packs

My cousin's wedding is in September and I don't know what to wear. Oh jeezes. I have a tank top but I don't think it'll be suitable. I failed to notice how low it is when I bought it. Thanks a lot perception, you suck!

Or should I blame taste instead?

I think I'll just stick with perception.

Okay my stomach can't stop rumbling today and I feel like I haven't slept in three days. Which is quite ironic may I point out since I took a nap last night! I love to sleep when it rains, it's so soothing and there's no chance of a UVA beam to break through the barrier of your blinds to strike at your eyes.

I just don't like it too much when the phone rings.

My grandpa got a dvd/vcr player and I tried to tell him everything but because all the buttons look the same and the printing on them is less than significant to a 70-some year old man, it was a little difficult. But it's okay. I'll just keep repeating the things to him so he'll be able to play those chinese song cds that he has. Oh grampy.

It's been a grim and shocking couple of weeks. I'm learning to not let small and insignificant differences get in the way of anything great. I hope you all do the same.

Yes Please!

Good thing her dog wasn't there, otherwise it would've been even more awkward

Question 1:
Your main reason to blog is to:

1. keep friends up to date about your oh-so exciting life

2. to practice writing

3. for the hell of it

Why isn't there a catergory for venting and to allow myself to ramble endlessly about shit that doesn't neccesarily make sense to others but I could really give two shits? Discrimination I tell you. Prejudice against the angry, frustrated, and trapped.

Actually I'm just saying. I mean, who takes their time to type all of this stuff up for the hell of it?

On Friday, my three beloved siblings and I went to Eric's meet and greet bbq for his wedding. Nice neighbourhood and his floors were done nicely but considering how the four of us are considerably younger and than his friends, it was awkward city. We didn't fit in, outsiders, non-confromists; however you want to say it. Nonetheless, our cousin fed us and allowed us to witness a part of the wedding preparation. Oh boy I can't wait! It's already Auguest and I can't believe he's getting married. On the drive home I couldn't help but feel like the world is trying to hurry along time as fast as it can. It really feels like yesterday that I was watching my two cousis at dinner insulting each other making Sarah and I laugh. Now one of them is getting married and there are two other little ones for them to tickle!

Speaking of the wedding, I bet my cousis won't even allow me to have a beer or anything. They still think I'm eight or something! Well I don't plan on getting sloshed or anything but it's a wedding! Plus it'll be the only wedding until Edwin gets married and I have no idea when that will be. It'll be too long of a wait I believe. Perhaps I'll just disguise it as something else. Oh the art of invisibilty and deception. My favourite kind.

I recieved the lesson this weekend of appreciating and savoring what is in your life. This, coming from a person with pessemistic eyes and a non-stop bitter mouth, is pretty evolutionary. Yes, I know. Nothing is perfect and when I do make it perfect (well, me perfect), I have to allow it to be destroyed. If everything stayed perfect the first time, where would I learn my mistakes? Plus, I'm sure I'll run out of things to perfect. Now where would my life be then? (I love you Grandma).

Even so, I'm still a little lost as to what my life has become. It doesn't mean I neccesarily dislike it but....well it does. I do dislike my life, more often then I would hope to. I just feel so futile and drained most of the time. It seems like everyone else has something going for them and they have something that's theirs. Summer is almost over and I haven't even been able to play the sport that I look most forward to in this blessed season. I'm pretty sure my adrenal gland is pretty stale (or atleast in domant state) because I haven't had the excitment of ....well anything! The short and cheap thrills that amusement park rides used to provide me give me something less than amusement. Specifically, I'm not entertained. Give me my fucking thirty dollars back.

Lost is weakly describing how I see myself. Maybe transparent, as in I'm fading away is a better way of saying it.

So in the event that I do become completely invisible, I hereby hold my heart in my hands and place in it Will's and Natalie's possession. They're the only ones that I know that won't cast it aside due to ignorance.

I don't care what any lawyer says. This is fucking legal.

It shouldn't of been. It should never be.

My condolences go out to Paris and his family. Indeed I am terribly sorry for your loss and I wish you and your family the best for the future.

Life shouldn't be this hard. It really shouldn't be and it should never be.

May Rome rest in peace.

-sniff sniff-

Oh wait a minute. I can't sniff anymore because I am so congested! I also cannot say the word 'fine' properly or any other words that require me to annunciate the 'n'. In addition, I'm sore and sleepy. Oh I hate getting sick during the summer. The Flu should be saved for the winter. That way I can get out of doing anything I would rather not participate in.

I have a hard time sleeping but I don't want to take anymore over-the-counter medicines due to the fear of the super-virus and becoming more drowsy than I already am. But I broke yesterday because I couldn't stand my grandmother's nagging anymore. Jeezes and after all these years you'd think I could take it.
But NO! I couldn't and I swallowed down two Dayquils with agonizing (but silent) grief.

So due to the virus that was probably air-born and made its way to me, I'm wearing these six year old Guess khakis. I thought this morning, it's much too cold to wear a skirt.........where did my other pair of work pants go?!
Thus I grabbed these in despair and threw them on. While I was walking in Old Navy during lunch how ever, I suddenly remembered why I stopped wearing these old things (other than the fact that I got these 6 years ago), I have two holes in the bum. One on each side to be exact.

This is bad because I remember going to the bathroom a number of times and I'm not sure whether or not my shirt and jacket were able to cover them. I'm hoping so though.

I did buy a sweater that I like and a shirt that both Marissa and I could wear! It's funny considering how she's eight years old and I'm 19. It's quite fabolous really.

I also bought this really nice nail polish but of course I don't have the skills to paint my nails properly so some nail polish is still on my cuticles and the skin around my nails. But I do adore the color.

My New Goal: To learn to eat like the French.

So not only did I have a ephiphany and painful shoulders this week, but I got an unexpected call last night also! It made my voice rise in volume and it marked the end of a waiting period. Oh the excitment of it all.

For the record, I only bought that Green Tea cake because I was curious and I have to say that it takes patients and an open mind. Needless to say, my siblings did not enjoy it. I'm not in love with it, but I'll eat it....slowly of course.

I went for a walk that took an hour and a half yesterday night and it felt so nice! The sky was gorgeous and the only real insects that bothered me were aphids. I think the kiddies loved it too. They seemed happy still when we got home, despite the distance and time. I wish I could do that everyday because I love to get outside since I'm stuck between three walls all day long at work.

Speaking of work, I cannot wait to leave it.

NNNNNOOOOOOOO

Oh God I just found out that I might have to work on Saturday morning. As if working 2 hours overtime everyday this week wasn't bad enough.

Okay fingers, strap on you jets and finish these orders!

Come on epiphany, I'm ready for you.

They don't do everything for you or me just because they feel like they have to or they fear of retribution from someone else. They do all these things for us becasue they love us. They prepare things for us hoping that we'll give back to them through harvesting success and letting them bath in it.

It's fair I think. An equal trade. Gratitude can go a long way and so can appreciation.

But if it's not appreciated, then all of their efforts are wasted and their dreams for us are shredded into nothing. Sometimes it's not too late, but other times there's no turning back. The mistakes we make are permanetly placed into a bag that we all drag around with us. Some larger than others but it's there nonetheless.

I feel that it takes a while before reasons come and hit you in the head with the sparkle of epiphany. Anger and frustration is what fills your head and constrains you from understanding why it's the way that it is. They're not always right. But they do always want the best for you. They do.

Trust me.
I mean, I do.

I've come to a realization that I want to multi-task all the time. Even when I'm sitting there, it feels like I need to be doing something else and if I'm not doing something else, I'm thinking of something else to do.

"What can I do to maximize my time? Otherwise I'll waste it"

Sometimes I'm thinking of this while I'm already doing two other things like watching tv and laundry.

It drives me crazy really.

Work is also driving me crazy. My shoulders are sore from sitting and typing for so freaking long and my eyes feel like they're going to roll out from my sockets just to get away from the computer.

Oh fuck I don't know how people can do this all day long. I hope I don't end up in some monotonous computer job for the rest of my 8-5 pm days. As of right now, the only thing that's keeping me going is the overtime pay. Double baby!

Still, I hate sitting down all day long.

More!

I wish I knew my mom like Marissa and Jason know me. Of course it's different considering how I didn't give birth to them but I don't know anything about my mom's life besides the frustrating and demeaning days with my dad. Oh and how she really aspired to be an accountant.

I guess it's not too late to start now.

And I wish to win the lottery.

Then again, don't we all.

I don't understand people with road rage. I do also have road rage but at least I don't keep my window up when I'm yelling at the person while I'm looking at them! That's just stupid! Oh your words (that I cannot hear you fucking rotting sack of shit) are hurting me behind your CLOSED window. Oh road-rage addicts may have their anger, but they don't have their smarts.