Dear Guitar-guy,
I know how you feel. In fact, when I first saw you strum along to the beat of your music as you were walkng across campus, I envied you. For you get to move along to the beat of your music in public and there is no risk of you injuring anyone or getting in any ones way. I for one do not know how to play the guitar and all of my previous piano training is lost on me.
Sorry mom.
Most of the time I want to dance around to my music and skateboard down that seemingly long stretch of campus concrete; which so many of us pound on on a daily basis. Perhaps I should just reserve my ridiculously odd dance moves for when I have complete privacy so people don't think I am deranged immigrant who doesn't understand Canada's cultural values.
Surprisingly, I haven't had many people question my ability to manipulate the english language. Though in this past year or so, people seem more and more stunned when I start speaking. Their faces drop as if they were excited to hear a Chinese accent; almost as if they were dissappointed. And it's not just the fact that I can speak english. It's the fact that I'm not Japanese or Korean. Which is even more off the norm since I don't think I look like either.
I know. I know. This is trivial and this is pretty much a waste of my time to type this out but my headache will not subside, the slight nausea is only starting to give up, and my closet is starting to remind me how materialistic I've become this past year.
Shit.
I have noticed the annoyingly large increase of students this year. I don't believe 'annoyingly' is actual offical english word but what I'm saying is true. It's annoying. I am trying to get from one class to another in convient but unsuportive shoes and there are these first years in my way. There are countless times where I am so tempted to ram them with the canon that I carry on my back. But I promised myself I would be less angry this year and just tell them to move the fuck out of the way.
Oh by the way, have expressed how much I hate girls? Not because they are my competition ( I enjoy a challenge), but because how fucking annoying and ridiculous they are. Of course I am referring to the ones who go out of their way to give the female sex a bad name. And no. I am not mixing up gender and sex. I actually do believe that the "catiness" of girls contributes to the demoralization of women.
Or I am just using it as an arguement to justify how much I want to punch some girls.
Anywho, I can't wait to see Bright Eyes again!! Minus the gum of course.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Sunday, June 17, 2007
How to make a Naive/ Surprisingly Optimistic Gloria
Take one Chinese girl who is STILL under the notion that if she treats other people with respect and kindness, they will all return the same form of compact love.
Combine with a boy with seems sweet enough and is filled with some sort of love that doesn't make sense.
Place in oven and let them intermingle by themselves, as facilitated love and companionship always turns out to be the fucked up kind that resonates an odd stench of low self esteem.
The suggested time is about 3 years, 4 if your patience permits. To speed up the process, dress Gloria in a black uniform and make her work with a bitch who posses the largest under bite anyone has seen. Alternate Gloria between the two different environments.
Though a word of caution, if Gloria is forced to spend time with the tacky cunt trash, you might be missing a person at the end of the day. Completing this intermittenly will not only keep Gloria's temper at bay but stop your expeneses from ruining you.
Now watch closely. What typically happens is the innocent boy will make Gloria feel all tingly inside and like she is a special person. More special than his past girlfriends and all of the other girls and boys. Gloria will take this to heart, try to remember and savour the moment as tomorrow will come and feelings fade.
Fade might not be the greatest way to explain the boys' feelings. Perhaps evolve into a quieter version that is less attractive to Gloria but more attractive to other people because Gloria has injected a sense of style and self awareness into him.
As the gestures, gazes, and sweet phrases become only a story, Gloria grows wary and Will (I mean the boy) becomes comfortable. Comfortable enough that it is alright for him to exclude Gloria from things that she actually wants to attend. Mind you, the boy thinks this he has done nothing wrong.
Don't worry. The irony of the last paragraph did not fail to fall on me.
It is ironic simply because the boy starts to gesture, gaze, and comment less and less. Instead he plays more games, whines, and generally make Gloria feel like any other girl.
Any other girl that he can exclude. If it wasn't for Gloria being friends with her, you wouldn't be going to that birthday dinner. And of course Gloria doesn't want to go because she has to take her little sister to soccer. Mind you, it would make Gloria feel much more wanted if the boy actually offered/questioned her if she would like to go after soccer.
Gloria has to take you to all of her friends birthday parties after all. And no. They are not your friends because you are friends with them . You are friends with them because Gloria was friends with them. You are now capable to picking out a shirt because Gloria has taught you all the shit that you know. And what do you do to thank her? You maker her feel unwanted.
No. There are no points awarded for making someone else feel shitty. Gloria can do that her self.
Towads the end of 3 and half years, you should see that Gloria will not have changed much. The boy on the other hand, will become a well dressed asshole who doesn't know that kids take in everything you do and say. Who doesn't know that the girl doesn't always like paying $16 dollars for a movie ticket everytime she sees a movie. A boy that has CLEARLY lost sight of what dating means.
And no. It's not just so that he can get some. The girl has to still want to be with him and feel like he still wants her for her and not the other shit. Gloria will not have changed much because at a quick glance, she sees that things seem to be going the way that they always have for the past 3 1/2 years. But when she tries to blog about how blissfull her work day was, all she can think about is how much she misses Will. The Will that took her hand while they are walking so that she wouldn't fall. The Will that cares about whether or not she is still as happy as day 1. The Will that cared to think that he can wait and that rushing into things is always the bad way to go. The Will that wanted to have things fixed before he went to bed so she wouldn't stay up till 1:30 in the morning because of a queasy stomach and a heavy heart.
A heavy heart with purple hair accompanied by no one.
And just because I look at a product and say that it is a good line, it doesn't mean I'm going to buy it. This is quite clear when I say, "This is too expensive. I'll wait." Just because I didn't say, "I'm not going to buy it," doesn't mean I'm going to buy it.
Back to the point. In the end, you should have a Gloria that is still nice when the encounters are short but if they are longer than 10 minutes, then the experimenter must intervene. Gloria should also be bitter with high hopes that the boy will some how become romantic again. That she won' t have to fight for his attention and that time spent together is not just some cheap thrill that is so imaginative that Gloria gets more excited about laundry.
By the way, have fun at your party.
Combine with a boy with seems sweet enough and is filled with some sort of love that doesn't make sense.
Place in oven and let them intermingle by themselves, as facilitated love and companionship always turns out to be the fucked up kind that resonates an odd stench of low self esteem.
The suggested time is about 3 years, 4 if your patience permits. To speed up the process, dress Gloria in a black uniform and make her work with a bitch who posses the largest under bite anyone has seen. Alternate Gloria between the two different environments.
Though a word of caution, if Gloria is forced to spend time with the tacky cunt trash, you might be missing a person at the end of the day. Completing this intermittenly will not only keep Gloria's temper at bay but stop your expeneses from ruining you.
Now watch closely. What typically happens is the innocent boy will make Gloria feel all tingly inside and like she is a special person. More special than his past girlfriends and all of the other girls and boys. Gloria will take this to heart, try to remember and savour the moment as tomorrow will come and feelings fade.
Fade might not be the greatest way to explain the boys' feelings. Perhaps evolve into a quieter version that is less attractive to Gloria but more attractive to other people because Gloria has injected a sense of style and self awareness into him.
As the gestures, gazes, and sweet phrases become only a story, Gloria grows wary and Will (I mean the boy) becomes comfortable. Comfortable enough that it is alright for him to exclude Gloria from things that she actually wants to attend. Mind you, the boy thinks this he has done nothing wrong.
Don't worry. The irony of the last paragraph did not fail to fall on me.
It is ironic simply because the boy starts to gesture, gaze, and comment less and less. Instead he plays more games, whines, and generally make Gloria feel like any other girl.
Any other girl that he can exclude. If it wasn't for Gloria being friends with her, you wouldn't be going to that birthday dinner. And of course Gloria doesn't want to go because she has to take her little sister to soccer. Mind you, it would make Gloria feel much more wanted if the boy actually offered/questioned her if she would like to go after soccer.
Gloria has to take you to all of her friends birthday parties after all. And no. They are not your friends because you are friends with them . You are friends with them because Gloria was friends with them. You are now capable to picking out a shirt because Gloria has taught you all the shit that you know. And what do you do to thank her? You maker her feel unwanted.
No. There are no points awarded for making someone else feel shitty. Gloria can do that her self.
Towads the end of 3 and half years, you should see that Gloria will not have changed much. The boy on the other hand, will become a well dressed asshole who doesn't know that kids take in everything you do and say. Who doesn't know that the girl doesn't always like paying $16 dollars for a movie ticket everytime she sees a movie. A boy that has CLEARLY lost sight of what dating means.
And no. It's not just so that he can get some. The girl has to still want to be with him and feel like he still wants her for her and not the other shit. Gloria will not have changed much because at a quick glance, she sees that things seem to be going the way that they always have for the past 3 1/2 years. But when she tries to blog about how blissfull her work day was, all she can think about is how much she misses Will. The Will that took her hand while they are walking so that she wouldn't fall. The Will that cares about whether or not she is still as happy as day 1. The Will that cared to think that he can wait and that rushing into things is always the bad way to go. The Will that wanted to have things fixed before he went to bed so she wouldn't stay up till 1:30 in the morning because of a queasy stomach and a heavy heart.
A heavy heart with purple hair accompanied by no one.
And just because I look at a product and say that it is a good line, it doesn't mean I'm going to buy it. This is quite clear when I say, "This is too expensive. I'll wait." Just because I didn't say, "I'm not going to buy it," doesn't mean I'm going to buy it.
Back to the point. In the end, you should have a Gloria that is still nice when the encounters are short but if they are longer than 10 minutes, then the experimenter must intervene. Gloria should also be bitter with high hopes that the boy will some how become romantic again. That she won' t have to fight for his attention and that time spent together is not just some cheap thrill that is so imaginative that Gloria gets more excited about laundry.
By the way, have fun at your party.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Humble Me
Norah Jones has a way of calming me down, nearly putting me to sleep. Making my muscles relax and causing a secretion of melatonin from my pineal gland, signaled from my suprachiasmatic nucleus.
Regardless of the hypnosis, I can't help feeling nervous, heavy hearted, nauseous, and droopy eyed. I miss you grandpa and I am sorry for not paying more attention to you. I just hope that you didn't suffer at all and that you are in a much better place now without pollution, uneccesary acts of violence, neglect, and greed. I hope that you are now with your parents and grandparents. I just hope that you are happy and that you can stand up straight again. Nice and tall in your spiffy suits and do all the excercises that you want. Play all the mahjong that you want. I just hope you know that I have missed the old you for a long time and I knew you couldn't be the same person but I was always hoping. I always thought about it. I wonder what happened to that tape that Sarah and I always liked watching so much. I always thought about how skilled you were and all the cool things that you taught Sarah and I. I now wonder how grandma is going to eat her fruit since you're not there to peel her fruit for her. I love you grandpa. I just hope that you're happy and safe now.
I don't know how grandma is holding up though. She is so fragile and everytime I left you two, I felt a pang of guilt. I haven't talked to her since the day you past away. I don't know what to say. Though I never know what to say.
All I want to do is pick you guys up for dinner now.
Regardless of the hypnosis, I can't help feeling nervous, heavy hearted, nauseous, and droopy eyed. I miss you grandpa and I am sorry for not paying more attention to you. I just hope that you didn't suffer at all and that you are in a much better place now without pollution, uneccesary acts of violence, neglect, and greed. I hope that you are now with your parents and grandparents. I just hope that you are happy and that you can stand up straight again. Nice and tall in your spiffy suits and do all the excercises that you want. Play all the mahjong that you want. I just hope you know that I have missed the old you for a long time and I knew you couldn't be the same person but I was always hoping. I always thought about it. I wonder what happened to that tape that Sarah and I always liked watching so much. I always thought about how skilled you were and all the cool things that you taught Sarah and I. I now wonder how grandma is going to eat her fruit since you're not there to peel her fruit for her. I love you grandpa. I just hope that you're happy and safe now.
I don't know how grandma is holding up though. She is so fragile and everytime I left you two, I felt a pang of guilt. I haven't talked to her since the day you past away. I don't know what to say. Though I never know what to say.
All I want to do is pick you guys up for dinner now.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Ikea has good chairs??
Walk straight and stop letting that shoulder pain get to you.
Wow is my chair ever uncomfortable. My parents are coming back this saturday. The same saturday as Suchi's birthday party. The saturdays where I used to like going out but I tend to not have fun when other people aren't joining in because all you do is stand there holding a beer bottle with your head propped back causing your neck muscles to extend.
My favourite pair of jeans is ripped.
I wish I knew how to sew.
And remember, I waved and smiled at you already!
P.S: I know this one doesn't make anysense and is very random.
P.S,S: who the hell is milli vennili??
Wow is my chair ever uncomfortable. My parents are coming back this saturday. The same saturday as Suchi's birthday party. The saturdays where I used to like going out but I tend to not have fun when other people aren't joining in because all you do is stand there holding a beer bottle with your head propped back causing your neck muscles to extend.
My favourite pair of jeans is ripped.
I wish I knew how to sew.
And remember, I waved and smiled at you already!
P.S: I know this one doesn't make anysense and is very random.
P.S,S: who the hell is milli vennili??
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