Smiling gives you laugh lines silly

New computer and a new mouse all in one day. How lucky am I?

Not very despite some material posessions. At least that's what I think. Then again it's true, you see one thing as cynical and you think everything is cynical in some sense. Thank you Charles for pointing that out. It's funny to be cynical sometimes. You bring out certain points or realities of something that someone else might not see and when you tell them, their face just freezes with indesicion and awkwardness, "Umm what do I say now?"

Don't say anything and think of something else to talk about. It's easier that way and no it's not possible to change a cynist in just one day. Give me evidence. Give me science (don't forget the chocolate milk). Give me something tangible before I can change my mind. And I'm not pushing away. It's just awkward and I can see that you can sense it too. Neither of us are doing anything about it but it's okay. Eventually things balance out and we'll figure out whether or not it's safe to talk to each other. Until then, have a good life.

Yes I'm all over the place and I aim to please the people that I care for and try my hardest not to slip up. I love it. The stress, the anxiety, the effort that's required. And of course the result. I love a smiling face, even if my face muscles don't flex. It's fun to make people laugh and it's true, smiling and laughing is contagious. Even if it's sarcastic and cynical, look at the funny part of it. Laugh and I'll eventually laugh with you.

But you first. It's easier that way. And I'm offering so take before my radius and ulna give way to my heavy phalanges and pounding mind.

Besides all of this, everything is vague but determined. I'm always in the middle. Always torn and being given choices that I really don't want to make. This is the irony of life. I'm given the choices that I don't want and not given the choices that I do want. I don't want to have to choose between groups because I love them both (despite past events- that's right, I can let go of grudges). Like my buddhist teacher has been saying, "we're suffering. It's determined right when you're born and if you don't seek some sort of peace with yourself, you'll continue to suffer. Now listened intently because this will be on your mid term."

Suffering indeed my friend, indeed.

Thank you Will, my computer is awesome.
(not sarcastically you cynical bastard)