Honestly, tell me if it's stupid.

Thanks Will, Sarah, and Charles for reassuring me you're honesty and blunt nature. I need to know if I look stupid.

I think I shouldn't try to study on Sundays anymore. I can't. Staying home all day and facing the books thinking about school the next day is just too depressing and it makes me groggy.

The house warming party was awkward and school's awkward. It feels like last year except people seem more sad and it sucks that much more.

I feel so apprhensive about everything. Trembling, my hands live in a state of fear and sometimes fury. It depends on the day and the condition of my stomach. I cannot face anymore television screens and with every beautiful sky and solid white serene cloud, I am impulsed to run around and free my worries with a loud and rambunctious scream. The park across the street looks quite tantilizing with it's swings of youth and slides of age. Here I come end, are you ready for me?

Of course you are. You're always ready. It's the other party that isn't always.

Impulsion should be ruled as a treat, as a free ticket to sanity and blissfullness. Blissfullness doesn't come in a spa you junkies, it comes from liberation and that final stage of your alcohol buzz where you realize it wasn't the best idea to take that last tequila shot.

After your buzz is gone, I guess bliss comes in a small blue gel capulet sold in the pharmacy section of Superstore.




Speaking of Superstore, I hate shopping with immigrants.

My bliss is yet to be found, like everything else.

But honestly if this is stupid, just tell me.

I wish I could download songs on my computer. The program stopped connecting to the internet so I'm missing out on songs.

On another note, school's started and it seems so odd to be in second year. I have to apply for OT this year. I better make it. But I'm glad to be seeing friends and walking around and getting fresh air again. It makes me feel less useless.

I get agitated easily, yes. I also can't seem to stop shopping. I also have to pay for my tuition and books. And it seems like everyone's buying all the same clothes (I'm glad I didn't buy that Old Navy argyle sweater, but I do wish I bought that bag).

Camping in my backyard didn't turn out because of the rain which is a total bummer because it's seriously so much fun. Except for the spiders of course, those are horrid and intrusive....so to speak. Instead we slept inside and didn't play games because we were all so tired. From what?

I have no clue.

When people ask me, "so what's new with you?" I never know what to say. So never ask me that. I'll reply with a blank look on my face which replaced what otherwise would be a look of annoyance and "stop asking me that" stare. I'm into more specific questions like, 'how was your summer?... what are you doing this year?... have you gone out clubbing lately?'

Yes, boring but less stupid. I did laundry last night and cleaned my walls. That's what's new with me.

I wish I could have a job while I'm in school but with obstacles and other at-home duties, I cannot. I don't think it's a good idea anyway. But I do wish that Sarah would work at Old Navy. Stupid change machines at Safeway. How lazy can human's become. It tells you how much change to give on the monitor. Why do you need a change machine?!

Plus, the lady at work jipped me of my overtime. Stupid lady. I don't see why she has to take the times in. Wouldn't it be easier just to send it directly to human resources?
/rant

School's in ladies and gents, let the coffee and hot water machines roll.

P.S: My heart desires everything but the capacity of it is limited.

That fucken blows.

Greedy. I am.

It's officially September and I'm already missing summer. I want the swealtering heat, the sunny days and clear blue skies, those rapid and angry thunder storms, the buzzle of activity, and every single moment of satisfaction where I can feel the effects of cold and tasty gelato from Whyte avenue.

Pistacio and pineapple are the best flavours. Well, not neccesarily together.

I'm excited for school to start but I'm going to be thinking of summer and what it offered. Money. More specfically, a chance to pay off my tuition without any pending interest after I graduate.

I hope my clothes from ebay come in soon. I hope that blazer from Old Navy goes on sale soon. I hope I get to have fun again before school starts. I hope I get to play tennis one more time. I hope I can find those shoes somewhere else besides the north side. I hope the price of gas goes down. I hope I find a sling bag. I hope I have enough money to pay for all of this.

I hope I get all the good seats in class. I hope I get a 4.0 this year.


Greedy greedy yes indeed.


I'm pretty sure I can reach the roof of the office if I stand on the my desk. Maybe I'll steal a roof tile.

PLUS! My mom apologized to me for being rude over the phone. Maybe she's drinking special water now.